I'm sick and tired of feeling alone?

I completely feel your pain. I'm fifteen and I am in and out of the closet (I know it doesn't make sense for me to take back my gayness but i've never completely agreed to being les. so...) and i recently moved away from everyone i used to spend time with and whenever i call them they always seem to have something more important to do so i do feel like they hate me for being gay. the girl i love is hurting me b/c she'll let me kiss her and sit on her lap then go on to talk about this guy she likes a few seconds later. I feel suicidal to but I try not to let it get me down even though my rents hate that im gay and hate me for it because i've learned that if you can just find one person who doesn't judge you (u don't have to date them) and its there for you it does make life bearable. Don't worry about your parents though because its a good sign that they accept you and its natural that they are embarred for you, every parent probably is at some point but they'll come along in their own time so just hang in there. Don't kill yourself because out there somewhere is that person you're meant to be with and you don't want to miss out on that, you just have to keep your hopes up.